08-09-30 - Milestone

Yesterday I was watching the House of Representatives give quick speeches on the $700 billion bail out of the stock market. There were two dramatic closing speeches, one by the Republican's and one by the Democrats both were in favor of the bail out, urging their party to vote Yes.

The person in charged called for all those in favor of the bill to say Aye, then for all those opposed to say Nay, even though the level of noise made by each group seemed to be about the same to me the person in charge said that the Ayes have it and declared the bill passed! Someone spoke up and challenged their decision and asked for a electronic vote, the speaker then said that there would be a 15 minute vote. I was surprised that on an issue of this importance that it could have passed without anyone even knowing who voted which way! That does not seem right to me, we are talking about the future of our country here, I want to know who voted which way.

As the vote proceeded everyone milled about talking to each other, some votes were cast right away, others seemed to not be clear on how they wanted to vote and waited until the last moment. I would learn later that they were making deals amongst themselves, like you vote for this for me and I will vote for something you want at a later date, that seems kind of strange as well, either your for it or against it.

As the counter got near zero time left the votes against the bill were more than the votes for. I was having a hard time believing my eyes, they were actually going to vote against the bail out, this was not what I expected! I had lost all hope for our government by this point in my life, the corruption seemed so deep that it was a given that they were going to do what was best for them and their friends and the average person was going to get the shaft.

I was one of those students in school who could not pay attention, by the third grade I wanted to go home but they would not let me. When I asked why I had to go to school the answer was "because". That was not good enough for me and the battle lines got drawn, they could make me go to school but they could not make me learn. That situation continued until the day I finally graduated (barely).

Some 32 years later I got my first computer. Finally I was able to write a legible letter to someone, up to that point my penmanship and spelling were so bad that it was embarrassing to write anything to anyone. Being able to correct a sentence and spell check were huge in my life.

At this point I was living in Mexico, the Internet connection was so slow that surfing the Internet was very difficult, one minute page loads were not uncommon and that was only if there were not too many pictures. Finally two years ago high speed Internet came to our town, for the first time I could really surf the Internet, I could watch videos, movies, whatever I wanted. This was a huge break through in my life, after all those school years of having to learn what someone else wanted me to learn I was now free to go in any direction, study any subject I wanted, I had the library of the world at my fingertips!

After some short distractions with things like porno and silly videos my fields of interest widened. I saw moments of trial and triumph of all kinds, I saw the challenges of many lives right there on my computer at the time I wanted to watch them. I got fooled a couple of times (and will most likely get fooled again), getting excited about something I felt was a break through only to find out it was exaggerated or not true.

As my fascination grew the scope of my Internet time began to focus on world events and politics. I learned a lot about United States and world history (subjects I failed in school), some of it good and some not so good. I learned about some of the way's the United States had interfered in other countries policy's trying to shape them and world policy into a form that met our desires and needs with little care about what the citizens of those country's wanted. I was horrified and appalled at the realities of war (even though I had spent two years in Vietnam) the lack of conscience with which world leaders and troops have for the dignity of life. I also learned about many of the good things the US does around the world, helping people in need.

My retention is best when I watch documentaries but I do a lot of reading as well, especially of the comments of ordinary citizens. There are a lot of good ideas out there, some hidden in persons who would never be able to express them in public. The Internet is bringing information into the open in a way that the world has never seen.

Most recently I have learned about FIAT money, the Federal reserve, what happened on Jekyll Island in 1910 and hit another mother lode of information. I must admit that by this point in my learning I was developing a pretty thick skin. Some of the things I learned in the last couple of years have been so unsettling that it took some time before I was able to re adjust to living in the world.

And then suddenly, seemingly out of now where this $700 billion bail out popped up. After things like the weapons of mass destruction (which were not there), the estimated $60 billion war that was now costing a trillion dollars (way way off) some of the doubts from 911 and other world events my level of trust in my government and in the main stream media was at an all time low. The level of greed seemed to be completely out of control, those in charge seemed to be carving up the American pie (and the world pie) and dividing it amongst themselves with little regard for all of those who had given their very lives to defend it and for those who's lives are directly affected by their actions. I seemed like the world was heading straight for disaster, the freedom I have known for all my life would never be known by future generations, the darkness was winning.

I watched the House of Representatives vote counter closely, almost holding my breath, hoping beyond hope that something different than what we all knew was certain was going to happen. I started to cheer it on chanting defeat it, defeat it, come on you can do it....The clock had gone to zero with only one vote not cast. Yessssss, yesssss! I said to myself and out loud. Victory, something different just happened than the same old stuff.

No one announced the win, the representatives just kept milling about for 15 minutes even after the clock went to zero. I was confused as to what was happening. Later I would find that if the person in charge felt like they wanted more time then they could extend past the allotted time until they felt it time to stop. Like what's that about, isn't no time left it? Finally the leader banged the gavel and called the vote closed with the Nay's winning!

While I admit that I don't know much about financial things I do know my gut feeling was to let the market find it's own level without government interference. But more than that I have Representatives, Congresspersons and others whom I TRUST, whom I feel actually do have the best interest of the people at heart, and they had also said that the bail out was not the answer.

I don't think most of those in power have any idea what it's like when you loose trust in your government and the news media. I don't think most have any idea of what the results of a lack of trust and faith are. But I know from personal experience, when you loose those things life can become very bleak, meaningless, doomed. In psychology there is something called "learned helplessness". It comes from feeling that you have no control over a situation, or over your life. Learned helplessness can breed anger and discontent so deep that some will give their lives in retribution just to feel, even if only for a moment, that they do have a choice.

I think the American people and the people of the world are willing to take stock and do what is necessary to get to a firm foundation. Even if the road is going to be difficult at least we have faced the situation and are going forward. Anything is better than just more of the same, more of the lies, more of the greed, more of the corruption. Something changed in me yesterday, perhaps something changed in the country, perhaps the world, like a breath of hope, a beam of light shone saying "don't give up"! It feels good.

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