For those movers and shakers who don’t have time to read a long note because your yacht awaits in the bay, here is your TLDR update:
Jan. 6: Free king cake in the evening if you dine with us. 5:30-7:30 p.m. Music with Juanito at 6 p.m.
Jan. 7: Music and chicken mole. Reservations strongly recommended. Music with Chava at 6 p.m.
Jan. 8: Juanito at 6 p.m
Jan. 9: Michel at 6 p.m.
Jan. 10: Juanito at 6 p.m.
Jan. 11-12: NFL playoffs if the league has not folded after the Saints got robbed again
Jan. 13: Juanito at 5:30 p.m. LSU vs. Clemson at 7 p.m.
Welcome back, friends. In case you have been away, let me please explain what has happened with Juanito. Our lawyers discovered he not only played at Marcos and Dulce’s cool neighborhood bar, La Chora, but other establishments in town as well! We gave him some Mexican justice and banished him to play at the Oxxo at 3 a.m. Wednesdays and he later repented and came back to wash dishes for us. If he promises to wash all the king cake dishes tonight, we’ll welcome him back at 6 p.m.
ROSCA DE REYES
The Mexican Catholics and the Louisiana Catholics join forces to celebrate the arrival of the three wise men. In Louisiana, this marks the start of Carnival season which culminates with Mardi Gras. In Mexico, they only eat king cake one day a year. In both places, we put a tiny plastic baby in this sweet bread. The recipient of the baby in Louisiana must throw the next king cake party. The Mexicans make you foot the bill for the tamales in February. We’ll be nice and give you a free margarita if you get the baby.
CHICKEN MOLE RETURNS
We had a wonderful event last month with our musicians and three flavors of chicken mole and we have another set for 6 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 7. In addition to the mole buffet, vegetables and dessert will also be provided. 200 pesos per person and reservations strongly recommended.
BREAKFAST BUFFET ALSO ROCKS
We greatly appreciate everyone’s support and patience as we have had record crowds the last few days. Hopefully we can put the Oxxo out of business any day. Anyway, here’s the plan at least for the next few days: We will try to have as much in reserve as possible to quickly fill the buffet trays. Mateo will make as many orange juices and waffles at the same time as humanly possible. If you would like either juice, waffles or awesome coffee from Cafe du Calcetin, please let one of your waiters know and please don’t report us for any violations of child labor laws. Daily breakfast buffet, Mondays-Saturdays, 9-11 a.m., 90 pesos. Sunday buffet, 10 a.m.-12 p.m., 120 pesos. Drinks extra.
SALAD AND LUNCH BAR
We encourage our cooks to come up with new items daily. On some days, the salad bar might include 17 salad items and one soup. On other occasions, we might experiment with a salad and lunch bar. Please come by and check it out. Of course you may also order from the menu daily starting at 12 p.m. in addition to or instead of the salad bar. Daily salad bar, 1-3 p.m., 90 pesos.
SPANISH CLASSES
Laura and Mateo love their students! We start each day with about 2 minutes of English, and then switch to 100 percent Spanish after that. All levels welcome. Some days Laura and Mateo teach together and other days we split into two groups. Those who consider themselves closer to the beginning level will go with Mateo and those closer to advanced level will go with Laura. If you don’t know which group is right for you, please feel free to start with one and switch to the other. Classes are Monday-Friday from 3-4 p.m. Drop-ins welcome. 100 pesos per class or 400 pesos for the week if you pay on Monday. Donations to the Carmen Maria Randolph Fajardo college fund might not be tax deductible, but you will feel good about it.
MASSAGES WITH MIREYA DORIS
Mateo’s friend offers incredible massages fro 450 pesos for an hour behind the cabanas. It is easier than ever to sign up. You may come by the bar and look for her agenda on top of the railing below the large palapa and above the sign that says “massages.” Please pick out and available time. When it is the appropriate time for your massage, please walk down the breezeway to the immediate right of the bar and go to the massage table. It has been scientifically proven margaritas taste even better immediately following a massage.
JERRY’S FINAL THOUGHTS
In case you didn’t know, the U.N. and Pope Francis have both declared 2020 “Be nice to Mateo year.”
RESERVATIONS
Mateo 3151082673
www.facebook.com/crocodilebarandcabanas (Maybe you can even find photos of Mateo’s stunning girlfriend on that page.)
matthewtrandolph@gmail.com, but only if you get a response within 8 hours to confirm it didn’t go into the mystery spam folder
Leave a trail of king cake crumbs from your house to Mateo’s, or simply stop by the bar
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Be sure to visit www.lamanzanilla.info for more information about La Manzanilla Mexico.